I’ll tell you what I see… I see an adolescence who literally starved herself to get here. I see someone who at almost every opportunity turned her nose up at food, and when she ate just one square of chocolate or a single crisp, told you she was full up. I see a vulnerable girl who excessively exercised and believed that her only worth was her tiny size. I see a sad, inauthentic and angry child, who violated her body and self-esteem just to be looked at by those of the opposite sex, who masked her face with countless smiles, when in actual fact what she desired most was to die. I see someone who despite having a small frame for the first time, still couldn’t look in the mirror without penalizing herself for all her faults. I see a young lady who when looking at photos of herself, felt disgust because she still somehow believed she was fat. I see someone who compared herself to every other female thinking she wasn’t good enough. Even though she was finally being noticed, away from that external validation, she couldn’t bear the sight of her physical self, and she still took a hundred selfies just to get one she vaguely liked. I see a woman desperate to be seen, to be accepted, to fit in, to be loved. I see a self loathing, shattered soul, who cried uncontrollably every single night. When I look at this photo, I see such deep rooted pain. I see not life, but someone barely holding on.
I see this photo this way because I know the true story behind it. This 18 year old female, is me…
Weight stigma is one of the most dangerous and toxic societal acts and yet it continues to be the norm. Diet culture is one the leading causes for eating disorders; it ruins people’s lives and most of us are completely oblivious to the body shame we partake in – day in, day out.
We teach children to watch what we eat and we tell them certain foods are only a treat. We constantly voice what foods we should and shouldn’t consume to our girlfriends and we model our sizes into categories good and bad, without even knowing the facts. We comment on people for gaining a few inches; we belittle, turn down and criticize people for being overweight and we compliment people for losing pounds. We buy into the body altered magazines, we hide our rolls, we cover our skin, we brush up our faces, we refuse to buy clothes that frame our true figure, we invest in low fat products despite the consequences, we fund weight loss programs that don’t even work, we restrict our food choices even though we need it and then we lie about what we do and do not eat (usually to ourself).
Don’t you see? We are contributing to the very same stigma that causes what we are trying to prevent. How can we expect our daughters to love their bodies when our actions show that we as a human race, can’t even accept differences in shape and size? We need to stop this madness. We need to take action. We need to start turning this issue around. Right. Now.
It’s time to stop comparing yourself negatively to others – stop insisting you need to lose weight for the summer – let your kid eat their meal in whatever order they want – stop telling yourself you can’t wear this or that because you don’t have the figure for it – give yourself permission to eat what you want, whenever the hell you want it – give your little one food when they say they’re hungry – exercise because it’s fun, not because you must burn off the calories – actually enjoy the food you prepare and for goodness sake, just eat the damn cake!
